Rough Cut

  Now that we have a rough cut for our opening sequence, we wanted to get feedback from our class as they are in the age bracket for our marketability.  Therefore, we would be able to receive constructive criticism from the group about what is good and what could be improved.  As the group is within the age for our intended marketability, their opinions would be representative for our audience.  The feedback we received is as follows:

• "The blurry shot at the end is good"
• "The focus pull is good on the text message"
• "The sound/ song at the beginning is not quite right - doesn't fit in.  Confused about whether speech is in the song or diegetic sound"
• "The scene where 'Ellie' walks in and out of the kitchen is a bit jumpy"
• "There is whispering in the car scene and when the killer goes up the stairs"
• "Like the titles - original.  Good tracking shot of bottles."
• "The killer scene flows well"
• "Dramatic music is needed in the end sequence"
• "Move the title (music by...) to fit with the image better"

  Above is the rough cut of the opening scene from "The Vengeance."  As you will be able to notice, there are a few mistakes that need going over, for instance the noticeable jump between the two shots when Ellie leaves the kitchen and then enters again.  This spoils the continuity of the film as you can tell that the two scenes have been shot separately.  To combat this problem, we would either have to get rid of the scene altogether or add another scene in between to make the scene flow better.  If we left the jump cut, the audience would think of this as being too much of an amateur attempt of an opening sequence, it spoils the continuity and they would likely lose interest in the opening.

  Another noticeable mistake is that of the music used at the beginning.  As we tried to get feedback whilst editing the rough cut, many people said that the music was not effective because it is not a well known song so the audience can't relate to it.  They also said that this sort of music doesn't fit in with the party scene very well and makes the opening drag.  Therefore, we tried to half rectify the problem by muting some of the scenes which is why some of the clips from the opening sequence of the rough cut are silent.  This is also because the feedback showed that the audience were confused about whether the lyrics in the song were lyrics or diegetic dialogue.  This confusion detracted their attention from the overall effect of the scene which is not effective so we would have to make sure that when it comes to editing to produce a final cut, we will need to use a recognisable song that the marketability can relate to. 

  As regards the title of 'music by...' in the car scene, we will discuss in editing whether to move it or not.  However, our feeling at the moment is that we should keep the title there as there is little action or tension in this scene so it is a good place for a title.  Also, when storyboarding, we had a specific order for the title sequence and we don't really want to have to change the order as our research (art of the title post with time line of title order) showed that the titles are to be in a specific order for a reason - to reveal any above the line talent to interest the audience.